| I SUMMON AGENT X9 |
[Jun. 2nd, 2009|12:09 am] |
Metal Gear Soild Rising + Crackdown 2 = get a 360
Also did you play Saints Row 2 yet |
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| I was going to post this at sallybanner.lj, if someone who can might relay the sentiments for me |
[Nov. 15th, 2008|06:54 am] |
It just stuck me that it's been four years since we had that pointless shouting match on POE-news about the last election. On reflection I've come to realise while we have deep and utterly unreconcilable differences of opinion about politics and a whole hell of a lot of things it was wrong and immature of me to be such a needlessly cunty cunt about them. So yeah, an unqualified apology for the nov2004 flamewar.
Prawn |
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| Stolen from Selectbutton |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|08:57 am] |
BIGJ420COOLDUDE wrote: Alright recruits I'ma gonna take you all from mild pains in da butts to full on dicks. It's a well known fact I think that MGO is the best game for tea bagging ever. If you kill someone you can teabag them for maybe 15 seconds while they have to watch. :siren:If you can tranq them you can teabag 'em for like a minute and then kill them and then teabag them for that 15 seconds so that is obviously ideal. 
MGO is good because you can teabag someone for like a little bit then salute them then keep teabagging them. Or if you get on the ground and crawl forward slowly you can do that funny little worm things all around their little pathetic body :D
OBVIOUSLY the best map for teabagging is Groznee Grad because there's a lot of spaces and you can drag people behind stuff for privacy.
Speaking of which one awesome thing to do is do that crawl to the right of the screen while spinning that camera around as fast as you can without going all the way around your dude. He'll do that funny worm thing while spinning in place and it's a really good way to waste time and lose games. It can also freak out a guy who you tranq'd and is lookin at you like wtf  this feature was added specifically by hideo kojima
One thing thats good to do to clear your head is, if you crawl towards a ledge, you can hit TRIANGLE (^) to hang off the side. Sometimes I just hang over the big open area in Grozni Grad for a long time while I think about where my life is going until someone shoots me and I think it's a good thing to do,
PRO TIP: you need good music to get you in the right mindset. I recommned "straight up" by paula abdul.
PRO TIP: The best voice to use is TYPE C at the highest pitch, because you sound just like krillin from dbz
it's a well known fact that the way bodies react to grenades is hilarious. Hitting teamates with them is good fun for the whole family. it is also a good practice to tranq someone, pref. a teamate, teabag them as you see fit, and throw down a grenade where they're lying just as they're getting up so they try to but can't quite escape in time. i like to shoot them until they don't really have any health left while they're still out, and then the grenade kills them (UPDATE: actually C4 is better for this), lol. the best way to drain their health is to aim a pistol at their dicks in first person / over the shoulder, and teabag them while shooting them in the dick. but be careful this is an advanced technique and could be dangerous. after this techinque i like to use a keyboard macro "this P90 is excellent" regardless of what weapon i'm using.
if you get bored you can wrap your lips around the top of your sixaxis and blow into the usb port so it makes a funny whistle
PRO TIP: there are 19 bones in your hand and fingers, and 8 in your wrist
ADVANCED TECHNIQUE: drag a tranq'd body up to a wall (at a 45 degree angle works best), press and crouch against the wall, and rub your ass back and forth on the player's face. i usually follow this by killing myself with a grenade.
It is possible to drop a teammate off of a high place by getting them in a choke hold, backing right up against a ledge (but don't fall of!), going into aiming mode, and spinning so that they're hanging off the ledge. Then simply let go and they'll fall right off. sometimes, at least with the training dumbies if you hold on, they'll fall several stories below but you'll both be in the choke hold animations and you can still drag them around akwardly. If you do this in groushzni gradd on certain balconies, you can drag them around the insides of buildings where they will be snapping around akwardly trying to keep in line with you from the roof.. another great thing to do is to knock them out, plant c4, wake them up, and knock both of yourselves off of a large building. if you survive when you land, you don't even have to get up. If you land in a funny position like I do sometimes then by all means, stay in it
I haven't been able to blow myself up onto any weird areas yet, but it might be worth trying.
PRO TIP: you can use explosives to "jump" over many obstacles that you would otherwise have to walk around.
PRO TIP: JESUS CHRIST if you hold L1 in the box or drum can, and hold really far back and to the side on the left analog stick, you can spin so fucking fast. You should strongly consider doing this over being effective.
Did you know?: Discovery is the second studio album by the Liverpool, England pop and rock band The Beatles released on March 13, 2001. It marks a shift in the sound from Chicago house, which they were previously known for, to disco and synthpop styles. The album also provided itself as a soundtrack to the anime film Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem. -Wikipedia
I guess the best way to stun a teammate is to use the stun knife and put them in a sleeper hold right after, because the SOP safety doesn't stop CQC. Then you can teabag them and possibly set up C4.
From what I've tried on dumbies, if you surround them with magazines they can't help but read them when they get back up, so you can stun them and repeat the process. You might be able to teabag someone repeatedly for as long as 3-4 minutes under optimal conditions. This is a neat idea! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|12:02 pm] |
I was pretty high on friday - my friend B gets this skunk stuff that knocks you on your arse pretty quickly, and I don't usually toke, and I'd had cider. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a lame BBBS post.
Anyway I was stoned and drunk and we were having a good time in Leeds, as you do. We were heading for a cashpoint.
Hyde Park was awash with students dressed in bland formalware, since it was some kind of ball thing, and Leeds students taken as a median average have less style and taste than a horse's cunt following a stroke.
This made the three scuzzbags at the cashpoint queue stand out.
They were the kind of lame pricks you see around usually in the rock scene - cutoff jeans, big studded belts, black band hoodies, baseball caps - but something about them, some little pattern recognition quirk screamed these guys are dicks and you should blugeon them. It was like a spidey sense that detects shitbags.
In front of us was a lady with a pretty well groomed, docile labrador. The scuzzbags were rowdy.
One of them started to kiss the dog. He put his tounge in the dog. The mouth of the dog. His tounge.
My fists bunched - was I going to have to summon the strength to kick the fuck out of three cuntflops to defend the virtue of a stranger's dog? They'd certainly deserve it.
She got more and more uncomfortable, as the dudes kissed her dog. After they got cash they stuck around and continued to make out with the dog. She got her cash and left quickly. It was the creepiest thing I'd ever seen.
One more detail: the guy who was photographing the guy kissing the dog had dead hands. They were covered with a thick layer of dead, peeling skin. Hands of the grave.
I just remembered all this, because I was pretty stoned on friday. |
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| GTA IV Online Annecdotes, Cops n' Crooks (sup X9) |
[May. 28th, 2008|04:54 am] |
Just now a mob boss tried to swim for it. He was dithering around Francis International, far out to sea, trying to make a slow, painful run to the boat. I was seperated from the rest of the cop team, whow were dithering around like they were from fucking Keystone.
I did what any man could. I stole an Infernus, grabbed the combat sniper closest to hand, and burnt rubber.
By the time I pulled up on the tarmac of the runway, he was a speck on the horizon, even at full zoom. Took two clips to bring him down, but bring him down I did. I was hero of the beach.
Earlier, on the opposite side of the law. It was the variant where four crooks, any four crooks, need to get to the boat. Roaring down... I think hove beach, convoy, with two cars of cops wailing after us. I saw the rectangle on my monitor that indicated ROCKET LAUNCHER GOES HERE and bailed out of the back seat, crunching face first into a parked car at speed. Over the headset, the driver called me a retard. I explained I was going for the launcher. He retracted the slur.
By the time I was set up to fire, the cops were almost upon us. I fired as the first car approached, at a 90 degree angle. I doubt they saw what hit them.
The rocket hit squarely between the two cars, igniting both. I was immediately gunned down by eight angry men with sub-machineguns who disgorged from the doomed vehicles, but my guys made it to the dock unmolested. Sometimes you have to take one for the team. |
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| Didn't even have to use my AK, today was a good day |
[May. 25th, 2008|10:23 pm] |
Which is weird, considering I laid in my pit until ten to six in the afternoon reading scans_daily and being a glum internet boy. Anyway, I got a cab out to a leafy little area near Headingly in Leeds to meet my new landlord. He is awesome, a really cool guy. I gave him some details and we swapped a bit of idle chatter, then he let me get a free ride in on his cab to Leeds city centre. I decide that I should probably go and see my friend E at the bar she works at, who is damn cool but I don't hang out with enough. So I go down and she is at work and stands me a tasty glass of Leffe . I drink the Leffe and buy myself one, chatting to her when she was free, and soaking up the jazzy euro ambience.
As I leave and walk home two girls ask me to walk them to an offlicence. It turns out to be closed but I stroll back with them to the taxi rank and they're both kind of cool. As I glance back over my shoulder on leaving I see the taller one is glancing at me. My manliness reafirmed, I get lost taking a side street I've never taken before...
...and find a river. A river I've never seen in four years of living in the area. The traffic is quiet and distant, the sunset is a gorgeous situation, and there's a fine black swan with a vivid red beak. I linger a while, soaking up the ambience, at peace, realising deliciously that this is one of the moments of total contentedness that life sometimes throws me. Behind me is a big empty car park, the sunset is casting vivid pastel hues over Leeds, everything's good.
I go home, chat with a stranger while waiting to say hi to the super, and end up bailing her out with toilet paper.
Sometimes life just throws quiet excellence at you, and that's quite enough for me to keep going. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|07:00 pm] |
Having been moderated by Livejournal, Bernard Edwards retreats further into madness:
Oh, bernie |
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| Dear Jaq |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|03:41 pm] |
I actually have a lot to offer you! I offer valuble negative feedback to you whenever you decide to lash out like a spiteful hag while furiously ignoring any possible dissenting statements. I offer a positive role model in that I am well groomed, fragrant and employed.
(BTW: That your big post calling me out is no comments speaks volumes to me. It speaks of your avoidance, your arrogance, your ignorance. It tells me you can't talk to people and you're devastatingly over invested in the internet. This post has comments enabled, because I have sack and you know, INTERNET. Feel free to respond! I am extending a courtesy to you you do not have the manners to extend to me)
I don't really want anything from you: what I want from your State is for an armed response team to blow up your PC and burn your Yu Gi Oh yaois or whatever the hell it is you waste someone else's money on. Pocky? It seems likely. Then you can dust the ashes of your ruinous former existence off yourself and get a job and act like a real human being. You will be exposed to a diverse cross-section of interests and opinions, and maybe some civility will slowly permeate your thick fucking skull. At which point you would not be acting like such a disgusting shit to people anymore, and I would be cool with you. That's basically how I work: if you are a shit, I will consistently challenge you to defy me by not being a shit anymore. I will do this by pointing out what a shit you are. Life is a growth process and I don't have any grudges etched in stone.
Why am I bothering with you? It's hard to explain. Mostly a lot of the COTI folks are still on my radar and I don't like to see people getting hurt by you guys. That's what you do: you hurt people. Don't bother asking the people around you: anyone around you right now still declines to speak to you? Odds are they are either a simpering lackey, or in thrawl to your vagina fumes. Which, might I add, could double very nicely as a sort of ersatz nethack (died level 30: killed by gelatinous cube).
Aw, god. I'm being a dick. Look: I know life isn't easy. I had a pretty harsh adolescence that I'm still fighting off, and you and your crew strike me as the kind of dudes who had thousands of sandcastles kicked in their faces. The thing is, I don't want to see anyone have that happen to them anymore (and not just because I am HERO OF THE BEACH) while you seem to be intent on kicking sandcastles as some sort of grim substitute revenge. So when I get angry at you and say that germs are playing nethack in your vag, it's because of something you did, not because I want to be cruel for the sake of it.
So yes, back in the day before all of this kicked off I could read your LJ and I saw you on COTI and whatnot and I sort of grasped a little bit that you had a bad home life. That doesn't excuse the way you act but maybe it is a causal link. I am considering that you genuinely don't know how to deal with people in a way that doesn't offend them. Maybe you don't know how to cope? It's hard: it was hard for me at 18, it's still pretty hard for me now.
So, some advice: cut the plugs off your games consoles. Get a nice suit and a haircut with whatever money you had earmarked for Mindless Bishie Grindquest V and hit the agency circuit. Your art is pretty good: skills to pay the bills? Maybe. But for god's sake, get out of the house. Stop eating fucking buttered tortillas because they'll make you fat and miserable, for the love of god.
Come on, guys: for all the pain you cause people, your punishment comes with your crimes: Danny is a aderack with sass and you draw art that is pretty good. Spinner... does something? The collective Voltron you form is a competent Jess Regan, guys. And now you're taking on a guy in Debt? You will fucking ruin yourselves if you don't get a grip! Stop yelling at the people pointing this out to you at their own personal expense!
Please don't tell me I am immature and high school, Rebecca. God, are you really so fucking oblivious to your own activites? That is like Hitler calling someone a bit of a mad Nazi, if you'll indulge my descent into Godwin's law.
Am I stalking you? No. Am I being critical of your actions in a public forum? Yes. I wish more people would bother to. That is not stalking you: that is you being a bitch in the public thoroughfare, and me calling you out on that. It's called feedback and it is something you would chew your own arm off to escape. It's the only thing that might stop you being suck a fuckhole to people for being considerate to your household.
I've said pretty much everything I have to say to you people, and now I suppose I can let the matter settle. I would guess that you will ignore everything I have to say here. But hey! Comments are open.
Here's hoping you do a little better tomorrow.
James |
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| Attn Coleen: |
[May. 24th, 2007|05:05 pm] |
The latest Marvel Zombies comic has Reed Richards [i]infecting his family with a zombie virus, intentionally[/i].
Reed Richards is a fucking DICK. |
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| ABC Debate on god |
[May. 14th, 2007|03:18 am] |
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Story?id=3148940&page=2
So many falicies, and Bashir doesn't help - for example, the mechanism by which - OH SHIT HE JUST CALLED THEM TERRORISTS - fossils are produced produces an amazingly low yield, of which none of us are likely to end up so much as subjected to. The preaching sitcom actor has a palpable fear of death. His amazing friend (who does not ONCE rely on hard reason or science) leans on Einstein as a crutch, and Einstein was a stubborn man who did not believe in quantum mechanics or PLATE TECTONICS
What an OH SHIT when they pulled out the report showing a correlation between religion and violence.
"After ABC ran a story in January about hundreds of atheists videotaping themselves blaspheming the Holy Spirit, best-selling author Ray Comfort contacted the network and offered to prove God's existence, absolutely, scientifically, without mentioning the Bible or faith."
Voted: Atheists won
Read Bill Bryson's A Brief History of Everything if you believe anything the evangelists said, they really don't have a leg to stand on with regard to their science talk. |
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